A year already....

It is hard to imagine that a year has come and gone, so quickly. Seriously, where did the last 365+ days go. There has much I have gained through this experience, knowledge of how my body likes to move, likes it when I nourish it properly... on the flip side it doesn't like laying around or carb overloading. I have gained friendships and encouragers from all walks of life who share a desire to do what is best for our physical selves, through yoga and other means of moving. I have managed to maintain my initial loss of 20 pounds and hope to add to that. I have learned that I am capable of doing more than I thought. I have been blessed with a great group of yoga instructors that push me and all those in class to try the next level and push through the comfort zone to achieve more. I am so grateful to all who have walked beside me and continue to support my efforts along this journey. Special thanks to Stephanie Howard and all her staff at Yoga Hot Spot.

Why I wish this was 'EASY'

This is me, last year August 2012, on vacation, seeing family and the sights of the East coast.

 

I am so blessed to have family and friends all over this country, and I enjoy travelling. I love that my children are exposed to the expanse of this great country, it's history, and beauty.

 

 

I just wish that I was a better role model for healthy living for them. Being thin, is not something I have ever been, even as a child I was heavier than most girls in my class. I have been striving to be healthier and I realize that I must work harder and longer than some to see results. that is where I am now. Taking a hard look at the choices I make and and must continue to make if I am going to be the healthiest me I can be.

 

 

My 2 oldest are in High school and have little time at home with me left, I want to show them that I care enough for me and for them to make these changes. 

 

Here in the Mickey shirt is my youngest, who keeps me on my toes, with her silly giggles and frustrating attitudes, my hope is for her to see me healthier before she finishes grade school.  

 

The choices we all make are based on what we want our result to be, now if I could only get my body and mind to align with my heart.

 

Thank you to all who have continued to be such and encouragement while I fight my way through 40 years of backward, unhealthy choices; looking for the path that will let me be around for another 40.

 

When you hit a wall.... and bounce back

So let's start by being real, January was a rough month for me. Just when every one else on the planet seems on fire to resolve to 'do' this or 'do' that, to better themselves, I felt like I was hitting a virtual wall. In the months of October and November I was digging deep and pulling out all stops in my attendance to yoga class, and to eating well. Even as December approached I was still maintaining a pound or so a week, and losing inches. Then it was like I turned some strange corner of doubt and frustration and gave in to bad habits of sugar and night time snacking galore. I also backed off the number of times a week I was making it into yoga. I feel like I just took a giant fall backwards in my goals to the better me and the journey of doing better things for my health.

In the passed week I have had a couple great conversations with some good friends who have spurred me on to leave January where it is, in the past and get moving with the same desires and fire I had back in the fall.  They have convinced me to look deeper into the why of what I am doing and to realize that God's plan is for me to strive to be a healthy, productive, woman of God, wife and mother; and in order to accomplish the path He has set before me I need to make those daily, hourly, minute to minute choices that strengthen not only my body and my mind but lift my spirit as well to seek Him and this path of health with all I have.

I have been asked to consider if I truly think I 'deserve' to be a thin person. I do not have a simple answer for that, but I will try and keep it short. First and foremost I think that the Lord created us all differently and that being 5'7" blond and 135 pounds is not the 'norm' that media portrays. I believe that we are created in the divine image of our God and that how we look, is based on many things, our environment and our genetics, to name just two.

I know that I have been a healthy, strong, energetic, person who could go to the gym and knock out an hour of cardio and weights, at 5'5" weighing 155.  I was a size 14-16 and felt physically able to take on the world. My health was good, no problems with blood pressure, or cholesterol, or lack of energy.

So I said all that to say this, I do not believe I, or anyone else for that matter, 'deserves' to be skinny or fat, or tall  or short, or to be healthy or to have cancer. I don't think it is a matter of deserving, I think that as part of a created world that has been influenced by a corrupted environment we suffer from both self inflicted actions - like eating crappy junk food and not exercising; but we also suffer from genetics that have spent decades deteriorating because those choices.  I think that you can make choices every day that better your health, and strengthen your body and still have things about your health be out of your control. I know for me that when I make the choice to get up and go to class and eat the foods that fuel my body in positive ways, I feel much better, I sleep better, etc. I hope that this all makes sense to someone besides me; I know that I long to have a healthy body, Lord willing.
This journey is about to take a sharp turn back to getting things done. I am so grateful for all who continue to encourage me, it has been a blessing to share in the stories of others who are struggling to find the balance to care for themselves and their families as well.

I wanted to be able to share at this point that I was down another 10 pounds, but that is not the kind of month I had. I have how ever managed to take another 1 1/2 inches off my waist and I am glad to be down 3 full sizes in my pants.

Been a while...

Sorry to not be keeping up on the blog end of things. I post often on the face book page, and just forget to update here too. As of today, almost 4 months on this journey, I am continuing to lose weight, gain muscle, shrink inches off, and drop sizes in my jeans. I am down 3 sizes and nearly 9 inches in my waist. I have had a few tough weeks and am aiming to get back on track. Thanks to those of you who stop me in class to encourage me.

100 pound loser : ebook review

 

 

 

 

This post by Jessica Heights  came across my Facebook feed and I was so very excited. I have been following her blog for a few years and love her spirit of giving and encouraging.

 

 

 

I answered her call to review her book, downloaded and even printed it out in paper form. I then sat down and read it in a matter of under an hour, underlining and making notes and then rereading the whole thing again. She speaks from a place that I have been and a place that I am journeying to. A mother busy with life, and young ones and the ins and outs of living, who was not taking caring of herself. I too, had put my health on the low rung of the ladder and have just recently begun my own 100+ pound losing journey.

To start off, she captured me with her honesty. Only two lines into the book she states, "I didn't write this for you because I have all the answers."  I just knew I was going to enjoy what she had to say because is was coming from such and honest place. I was constantly encouraged by her words that seemed to be familiar, as though I had played them over and over in my head. Oh yeah, because maybe I have - words like "It was always difficult for me to turn down dessert, to skip seconds, and to back away from the Easter candy." - this is me, this is what I struggle with, this is who I am trying to change for the better.

There is so much truth and honesty as I said, in this book about what weight and our body image says about us. The pinnacle point for me, is the statement,"Not only had I abused the body which I was given to use and govern appropriately as a temple of the Holy Spirit{1 Corinthians 6:19}, but.....  .

You will have to read it for yourself, it is a wonderful overview of the struggles we face not just as moms but women, in our 'relationship' with food and our bodies.

Thank you Jessica for being so open and honest and putting into beautiful words the journey that you took so that others can get a glimpse of the possibilities to have a better, healthier, God filled life.

Before and Afters

 

Sorry to have been forgetting to blog, I have been updating the Facebook page pretty regularly. I had a great measuring at the beginning of the month with a total of 23 ½” lost from neck to calf. It has been super exciting to see my waist be most changed, with a total of 7 inches lost in the 10 weeks.  My weight is staying put, but inches are going and there are parts of me gaining definition or dimpling from the loss of fat and strengthening of muscle. I continue to be blessed to meet new people all the time through class and through my Facebook page who are so encouraging. As we are all on our own journeys it has been thrilling to hear from others that I am able to inspire them.

 

I have taken another set of photos, and will post them here as well. The first ones were in October (blue tank) after one month and then in November (black tank) with 2 months down. I will have to go back and look for some more photos from this summer to really compare, pre-yoga me to now.

On this day of Thanksgiving

For just over 4 years I have been blogging. I have blogged personally about my family and life and counted my blessings on a regular basis. Searching for my 1000th gift of grace. I started out by reading Ann Voskamp's blog Holy Experience and then read her book.counting each joy I came across. today I want to share with you an entry from over a year ago that captures the glimpse of how I long to see my everyday. I long to see it in the smiles and tears, in calm and in calamity.  Please enjoy the blessings that make my life worth fighting for.

Here is the link to that day - July 2011 or you can read it below. Blessings to you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Every day that I come to blog land and read the eloquent words of many of you, I am blessed beyond measure with the grace and mercy of our LORD. Our days are filled with the mundane so much, the dishes, the laundry, gathering of things. But to daily seek the joys and grace that our Lord has to offer readily to us is more than blessings for this one soul.

I love this community of believers who wants to take it in and then pass it along to help others see the deepness and richness of His blessing pouring out, not just in the Pollyanna sunshine of the days, but in the darkness of the sorrows of ones spirit. He is there, walking along side, carrying at times, holding us together and clearing the path for our next step.

All that we do, those 'tasks' we fill our day with, the holding and hugging and tucking in ---- All that we do is easier done when the focus is on doing it for HIM.

I lack at the doing it well, and unto the Lord a lot more than I like to think about. I know this though that when I choose to do it with gladness, the JOY comes quickly.

The list continues on.....

Sleep in the absence of my love, thunderstorms, consuming passion, forgiveness asked for in poor attitude and given, quiet, moms, neighbors with open doors, piano, sisters playing mancala, lunch with a friend, An amazing journey in this moment reading encouraging words, crickets chirping, searched for and found - placed on fingertips and dancing around, Neighbor who walks down the street to bring pie (just for her and I to share) and catch up, sunny beautiful breezy days, a 'home' to live in, books being read in bed as sun rises, ambition,"There are not words" being whispered in my ear, full moon rising, searching out family history and finding treasures, smores with jumbo marshmallows, fields of wheat, the bluest of skies, rainbows being caught while watering gardens, play dates at park 11 mommas and 24 kids (blessing for sure), beauty in fellowship with God's people, Eating a meal together after a busy week of late nights, peace, being the dinner guest at new friends home, tender dances in the dark with my man, new grass tender and soooooo green, writing gift #555. and remembering that I am my daddy's 5 cents (his nickel) Nicole :) , the list will never end, His richness and blessing are many. His grace surrounds those that lean in close and listen for Words He speaks to us every where in every way.