A look at the past 8 years

 

At a later date I will go back and scan some childhood and high school photos, but for today here is where I have been for the past 8 years.

 

 

 

In this photo I am 6 month pregnant with Addysen, and I weighed around 250 at the time.

 

 

 

Here I am just over a year later, still carrying all of the pregnancy weight.

 

Here we are on vacation, in 2009. I had been a pretty consistent 260-270 for over a year at this point.

 

 

 

 

Then this summer we went back East for some family time and wedding, here I am 1 month before my first class weighing just over 300 pounds.

 

There is  plenty of life that had happened in these 8 years, losing my father in May of 2004; followed by having Addysen in February of 2005. Adjusting to life with baby again was interesting. The year after she was born, I gave Curves a try  in spring of 2006 and lost 35 pounds in 6 months; but then life got busy again and I let it all go.  The following 2 years were pretty normal, what ever that means right, but life was just going by. Then in the fall of 2008 my younger brother took his own life. In an instant our lives were changed. My mother, sister and her 2 young children (not quite 3 year old boy and 4 day old girl) came to live with us in our 3 bedroom duplex. To say life was overwhelming would be an understatement, the emotional trauma my mother and sister had experience with his death left them nearly wholly dependant on me. We built a home and moved to Moxee and life went on.  The house was now full with 4 adults and 5 children, all who needed me in some capacity ( my husband being the exception and taking care of me as much as he was able to emotionally and such). The death of my brother brought many things in my past to light  and  I truly  struggled through some days just asking why??

 

In all of these things God has been my rock, and my husband has been my calm. I just kept moving through the motions, but not really caring for myself at all. I have known for along time that God has wanted more for me, that He longs to have me be in a place of helping the hurting, by sharing what I know of His Grace and Mercy.

 

I have struggled with the sin of my gluttony and slothfulness that has lead to my body no longer being an example of the glory He has for us. As the weeks go by I hope to share and open the doors of healing to my childhood paths that have led me to some of the adult choices I still make.

 

Food is not evil, but loving it over all other things is not a healthy path. To have it be such a focus of the day, is just as sinful as any other idol worship.

 

Again this journey is just beginning, thanks for your support and encouragement!