For the Love of Food....

So today I thought I would share with you why I love food.

I love food because it tastes good, it comforts me, it gives me energy. I love food because it helps us celebrate, it helps us mourn. I love food because it smells wonderful, ignites memories of joy, as well as ones of pain. Even in the painful memories though food can calm, it can feel rewarding, it can take you to a peaceful place. Most of us do not eat to 'hurt' ourselves but to enjoy the morsels that pass our lips.

There are plenty of good reason to enjoy food; for the simple reason that it maintains life, nourishes our bodies, strengthens us. Here is where the problem lies for me. I stopped using food for the intent of 'feeding just my body' and began using it to feed lots of places in my life. I used it to feed anger, hurt, happiness, joyfulness, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, you name it. If there was food to be had, why not just eat it.

I have said before that gluttony seems to be a very acceptable sin among the Christian realm. Since drugs are illegal, smoking is stinky and 'bad for our health', drinking in excess or even moderation is looked down on, it seems that the sin of being overweight has become the  ok thing to do. I mean what church isn't all about the 'fellowship of potlucks' and such.  It is socially acceptable to eat in public, to eat  at small gatherings, to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and even to snack.  So here is where I have decided to draw my line in the sand, as you will. 

Just because something is 'good' for us does not make it ok to indulge in it to the point of hurting one's own self.

As I said a few posts ago, God has graced me with very little health issues related to my weight. I have never had high blood pressure, my cholesterol is barely borderline high, I have no pre-diabetic concerns. I do however have fatigue, aches, pains, menstrual issues, and general lack of concern for myself when it comes to my weight. That is until this summer; when I got on the scale and it read 305 at it's highest in August.

I can go back to high school and remember thinking that 145 pounds was crazy, but at the time it was not like I was obese (which was a new medical term in the 90's). I could still shop off the rack at most stores and plus size fashions were coming into mainstream. I even worked at Lane Bryant my senior year. I remember thinking how glad I was to be the size 14 in the room. I just could not imagine being a size 26/28 that was HUGE, I was in disbelief that people could 'let themselves' get that fat.

Well here I sit 22 years later and I am that person. I have let myself care more about everything else in life, than my own health. I can think back to the day I met my OB who would deliver Andrew back in 1995, and reading my weight was something like 212 pounds at the time and seeing the words morbidly obese on the records. I was mad, who was he to say that?  The frustrating part is that at 6 months postpartum with Andrew I weighed about 240.  I was pregnant just shortly after his 1st birthday and delivered Emma in December of 1997 weighing 250ish pounds.  So there it is, at 25, only 7  years removed from high school; having had two children and being married for just over 3 years I had gained almost 100 pounds.

I have said before the Lord is so good and gracious to me. I have had many days that I struggled with being so fat, and carrying on in such a way. What sort of example could I possibly be to my children, or others around me. I had 'control' of most other areas of my life, a clean home, well behaved children, I was active in church and even teaching Bible studies and such. I have always tried to have my children eat healthy, in fact I would say that even I eat healthy for the most part. What I don't do is eat in any form of moderation.


I know that there are many of you out there who like me, love food; Love good healthy food even. I know that there are even some who reading who see the word obese and cringe, because you have seen it written beside your name as well. Part of my journey here in the blog is to be real and to say it like it is.

So here is the truth about why I am morbidly obese --------

 

I have been more than willing to stuff anything I like down my throat.

 

The thing I have been unwilling to ----- with any stick-to-itness ------ is move my body.

 

I know with great head knowlege that to lose this weight I must be willing to expel more calories than I take in, and I must do this in a healthy, live it for the rest of my life, way. 

 

 

I will share with you the photos that Emma snapped for me the other day, these were taken just short of 1 month into this journey. I was down 7-8 pounds weighing in at 293 pounds I believe.